Man, these topics of late are all about things bad about ourselves. What we could change, what we could have, what is terrible about us. Bad luck of the draw, I guess.
I suppose what I consider to be my largest fault would be a lack of motivation towards certain things. By “certain things”, I mean “things that are not playing computer games”.
I have a huge problem motivating myself to do schoolwork, pay bills, research options for travel, fix things around the house, etc. Two lightbulbs have been burned out in my bathroom for around four days now, and I have yet to take the two minutes out of my not-very-busy day to remedy the situation.
Every once in a while, it’s true, I get small bursts of can-do that let me get some stuff done. Once I actually start working, it gets easier. It’s starting that’s so hard. I suppose a lot of people have trouble with this, but I find it to be an extremely annoying character trait.
Mary is pretty much the opposite. I mean, she likes relaxing as much as me, and putting off grading seems to be par for the course as far as teaching goes, but she is totally focused and motivated when it comes to anything else. She gets stuff done.
A good example is the Christmas lights. (The plural/non-plural subject-verb agreement in that sentence is messing with my head, but I assure me it’s totes correct.) I only just took them down this week, but they’ve been disconnected since New Year’s. Yep, there had been unpowered strings of lights hanging off my house for around a month before I took them down, and it only took me about ten minutes. BUT I COULD NOT GET UP THE GUMPTION TO DO IT.
I could always just lie to myself, and say it’s because “I know what’s really important in life.” But I know better. I know that playing zombagame isn’t more important in the grand scheme of things than getting my sixth graders’ tests graded.
The truth hurts. Well, no. It doesn’t. But it’s irritating.
Oh, and Narcissism. I’ll take Narcissism too. Totes Narcissistic.
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