24HBD #22: Awkward Moments

Some experiences stay with you forever, burned into your synapses for all time.  Most of the time, the people who were with you will not carry the same burden as you, because they don’t understand.  Let’s talk about it.

Here’s a situation:  Mary and I went to a co-worker of mine’s house to watch a basketball game.  We met some people there for the first time.  He stuck his hand out for a handshake, and then Mary and I both stuck our hands out.

Easy, right?  He shakes one of our hands first, then the other.  This is what should, and should have,  happened.

Instead, he went for mine, then changed his mind and went for hers, then changed his mind, and…

It was kind of like walking straight towards someone in the hallway, and you both kind of feint in one direction, then the other, then the other, and you know you’re both thinking “Come on, COME ON, this needs to get worked out before we get too clo-“ and then you’re right up at each other, and you have to stop walking and go “Hahnyeahblueah sorry, oops!” and fumble around and make awkward eye contact because, unlike normal human beings, you can’t have a 2 second conversation with a stranger without making weird noises like you’ve been raised in a box.

So anyway, handshake guy – instead of shaking one then the other, he just scooped both my and Mary’s hands in one, sandwiched them with his other hand, and gave us the double handshake.  It was my first experience with the double handshake (Mary has another one), and I found it awkward.  First of all, my hands are much bigger than his.  If anything, I should have been the one to double handshake him.  Second of all, WEIRD. 

This will be one of those things I look back on with that horrible feeling in my stomach, knowing that what happened was unavoidable, but knowing that doesn’t make anything better.