24HBD #5: Alter Egos

Alter Egos aren’t just for superheroes.  We all have different personae that we fall into depending on our surroundings.  So why are the schizophrenics so ostracized?  They're just more out with it.

Anyway, I thought I’d list some of my alter egos.  I’m not even sure what my regular ego is.  Oh wait, it’s

Ego the First:  Regular Tim

Regular Tim is a pretty normal guy.  He makes the appropriate amount of jokes during conversation, is an active listener, and enjoys a ridiculous burger.  He doesn’t really like sharing food.  If asked, most people would probably describe him as “pretty okay”.

Ego the Second:  Husband Tim, or Johnny Homeowner

 

Johnny Homeowner is also a nice guy, but he is a nice guy who is married and owns a house.  He orders pizza like a champ for his hungry wife.  He builds decks and fences.  He insulates pipes.  He shovels the sidewalk, and gets his wife, Mary, unstuck from the snow.  He buys apple juice (Simply Apple!) when he goes shopping, because he knows she likes it (and he knows if he doesn’t, he’ll hear about it later).  He almost always saves the last bit of juice or milk for his wife.  He doesn’t like cleaning bathrooms.

Ego the Third:  Cartoon Tim

Cartoon Tim is a cartoon.  He doesn’t contribute much, but he makes a swell profile pic for Regular Tim.

Ego the Fourth:  Comedy Group Member Tim, or Frim Tanklin, or Skim Janklin

 

Comedy Group Member Tim has been a part of The Crazy Monkeys, and now is a part of Ad Liberation.  He networks with other groups’ members like a boss.  He attends festivals when they are made available to him.  He hosts games.  He makes the jokes, and brings the funny.  He goes where nobody else does, because he knows somebody has to.  He refrains from cursing, unless it’s appropriate for the situation.  He is a team player.  He likes Chain Murder Mystery.  He is the sweatiest guy.

Ego the Fifth:  Internet Celebrity Tim

Internet Celebrity Tim has tens of internet fans who follow his doings.  He updates his Facebook profile picture on a weekly basis, to keep it fresh.  He writes recipe blogs that are read by his mom and Joey Rintoul.  He gets free swag, then obsesses over it.  He shows up in Google searches, as long as quotes are used.  He takes pictures, and posts them online – but only after tweaking the contrast.  He RT’s others’ posts on Twitter, and he @replies celebrities as if they were his best friends.  He is at the center of a spiderweb of connectivity, even though he is just a fly that happened to get stuck there.  He has a webcomic that remains un-updated, and an MSN spaces account, just because.